Be the adult!

My last two posts were inspired by Eric Berne’s idea that we can operate in any of 3 roles whilst engaging with others. We can play the parent, adult or child role. Using them as a framework for self-analysis I’ve been encouraged to consider who my parent figures are, and to ensure I make the most of those relationships. Then I’ve been thinking about to whom I can be the ‘parent’ figure: anyone who would benefit from time with me as a mentor or coach. I suggested that if you do this, not only will the other person benefit, but you will also feel great about it too!

best-friends-381984_640So this third part is to encourage you to ensure you have within your circle of influence people who you can relate to at your own level: a two-way relationship where the other person does not drain you and you are not constantly drawing from them. My view is that this needs to be more than just your spouse / significant other.

The Bible says in 1 John 4:7:

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

The term one another implies that this is meant to be a two-way thing.

The first disciples had each other. Mary and Martha had each other’s companionship. David and Jonathan both drew strength from their love of each other.

Who do you have in your life who you can go to and share equally together?

Choose your familyfamily

Thinking about the roles of parent, adult and child, you will be very lucky to play all three roles within your natural family. Most people have to look beyond their family tree to fulfill these roles.

So choose your family! Get involved and committed to a growing, bible-believing church and you’ll soon find you have plenty of opportunity to grow in all three areas!


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