The Tectonic Wedge

In the previous parts of this series, we tracked the enemy’s progress through the noise of distraction, the whisper of doubt, and the pit of despondency. If those tactics fail to stop a leader or an organisation, the playbook may turn to a more structural attack. That attack is the slow, clinical process of division.

Division is rarely an overnight explosion. Think of the character ‘Scrat’ from the Ice Age films trying to wedge a single acorn into a sheet of ice. That tiny pressure point eventually causes an entire tectonic plate to shift and moves continents.

In our churches, families, marriages and businesses, team division operates in pretty much the same way. One small comment, one misinterpreted gesture, or one private moan in a corridor can cause a continental shift. The resulting fracture can take years to repair.

A Case Study in Collateral Damage

When my wife and I first moved to Liverpool as newlyweds, we were looking for a church to join. We found a wonderful, lively Pentecostal church to call home, but there was a bit of a shadow cast over what might have been a honeymoon period in our membership. The year we arrived, there had just been quite a split in the congregation.

One of the elders had decided he possessed better ideas and a fresh way of thinking. He parted company with the church we had just joined and started up his own ministry in the same city. Apparently he had just taken eighty people with him, which was around a quarter of the congregation.

Sometimes, splitting and planting is a healthy mechanism for growth. We need to be ready to let people go, start new branches or plants, expanding our reach. However, in this case, we watched that man’s church of eighty people quickly dwindle to nothing. This had not been one of those positive splits!

Ten years later, we were still meeting individuals from that split who had ended up entirely disconnected from any community. They’d left with high hopes but ended up disappointed and damaged, spiritual casualties of an unnecessary church split that, honestly, served no one but the enemy.

You may notice from this example that people didn’t leave the church over a negative event. They were looking for something positive, but found it to be a deception based on one man’s pride or delusion that he was called to start something new.

The point is, not all division looks nasty at the start. That’s a key element in the enemy’s play – to masquerade as an angel of light (as Paul warns us in 2 Corinthians 11:14), only to lead people away into darkness.

Of course, not all fractures are wrapped in the shiny packaging of a “new calling.” While some division sneaks in disguised as a positive venture, a lot of it is far less subtle and far more messy. Often, the wedge is driven by plain old disagreement, bruised egos, and unchecked frustration. We see it in heated boardroom arguments over strategy, territorial squabbles over resources, or the sudden, icy silence between formerly close friends.

Whether it is a loud church split, a cliquey corner in a staffroom, or a bitter family feud, division acts as a massive blessing blocker. Psalm 133:1 paints a beautiful counter-picture for us, declaring,

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

The Psalmist goes on to say that unity is the specific environment where God actually commands His blessing. Therefore, when we allow discord to fester, we are effectively building a dam against the flow of God’s favour. In some cases, the original argument is often long forgotten, but the indoctrinated dislike remains.

“Church Hurt”

From the enemy’s perspective, a unified body of believers is a terrifying prospect. We have the potential to pull down strongholds and change the atmosphere of our cities. The devil knows our potential far better than we often do ourselves.

If he cannot get us to doubt or despair, he will try to get us to disagree and isolate. Most division happens over things that are patently secondary to the Kingdom of God. We fall out over the length of the worship, the style of the leadership, or a perceived slight in the foyer.

We frequently label this “church hurt”, but I believe we must be far more precise with our definitions. Often, what we are actually experiencing is the pain caused by just one or two individuals. We then project the actions of one flawed human onto the entire community and walk away from the whole church.

Sometimes, a present offence simply triggers a deep, unresolved hurt from our past. In these moments, God is often acting as the master surgeon, allowing a wound to be exposed so He can finally heal it. Yet, instead of submitting to His gentle leadership, we pack our bags and leave.

This isolation is exactly what the enemy desires. When we isolate ourselves from the flock, we become the stray sheep that the wolf can easily pick off. We must refuse the urge to simply “leave the chat” when relationships become difficult.

The Danger of False Harmony

Before we look at how to properly resolve conflict, we need to address a highly dangerous counterfeit: false harmony. False harmony is the illusion of unity achieved by simply avoiding conflict at all costs. It is an artificial peace that looks good on the surface but rots an organisation from the inside out.

In the office, false harmony looks like everyone nodding in polite agreement during a staff meeting, only to instantly tear the decision to shreds in private the moment the door closes. I’ve heard this happen within seconds of leaving a meeting as staff members whisper in the corridor. They’d said nothing in the meeting but were willing to criticise the decisions in private. False harmony.

In the church, it looks like smiling in the foyer, offering all the right spiritual buzzwords, while quietly harbouring deep resentment toward a fellow volunteer, or even the Pastor!

This is entirely unhelpful because it drives a wedge of division underground. We frequently make the mistake of confusing keeping the peace with making peace.

There is a difference between a peacekeeper and a peacemaker. A peacekeeper avoids friction, sweeping the dirt under the rug to maintain a comfortable surface. A peacemaker, however, is willing to step into the mess, address the tension honestly, and do the hard, uncomfortable relational work required to forge genuine unity. Jesus declared,

“Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9).

He never promised a blessing for peacekeepers.

The consequences of allowing false harmony to persist are severe. It breeds a culture of passive-aggression, it kills healthy innovation because nobody wants to challenge the status quo, and it slowly erodes foundational trust. Eventually, the pressure builds up under the carpet. This can result in an explosive, highly damaging split; at other times, it slowly causes the organisation to suffer, stagnating as people quietly leave for other jobs or churches.

Ultimately, the underlying issues are never addressed, meaning nothing actually changes for the organisation or the person walking out.

How do you detect it? Pay attention to the silence. I have heard it said that in a first-aid emergency, responders are taught to go to the quiet casualties first: they may be in far more danger than those crying out in pain. At least the noisy ones are alive and breathing!

The same principle applies to our teams. If your team meetings feature no passionate, healthy debate, or if discussions only seem to happen in the car park after the official meeting has ended, you are likely dealing with false harmony. To deal with it, leaders can invite healthy friction. To do this, we can model vulnerability, explicitly asking our team for dissenting opinions, and demonstrate that disagreeing passionately on an issue does not equal a fracture in the relationship!

The Counter-Playbook for Conflict

The ultimate counter-play to division is returning to the absolute bedrock of our mission. We are called to love God, love people, and make disciples. If an issue does not have an eternal consequence, it is merely a distraction used to fuel division.

Before you engage in a dispute, you must ask yourself a sobering question. Will this matter in a month, in a year, or after I am dead? If the answer is no, we need to show some grace and choose to grow up!

Jesus actually provided a clear standard operating procedure for conflict in Matthew 18. In an age of social media call-outs and toxic messaging groups, these rules are brilliantly counter-cultural. Here are five practical ways we can apply them to protect our unity.

1. The direct and private approach

The first step is always to go directly and privately to the person involved. This means no vague posts on Facebook and no whispered complaints in the corridor. A private, loving conversation solves ninety percent of divisions before they even start.

My golden rule here is to never attempt this conversation over a text message or email, where tone is easily misinterpreted. Take them out for a coffee.

Say, “Hey, when this happened, it made me feel this way. Can we clear the air?”

Approaching them face-to-face with a posture of curiosity rather than condemnation de-escalates the tension immediately. It takes courage to look someone in the eye and be vulnerable, but it builds a bridge instead of a wall.

2. Bring trusted peers

If that private conversation fails to resolve the issue, bring one or two trusted, objective peers. This is never an opportunity to gang up on the individual. It is a fact-finding mission aimed squarely at restoration and understanding.

Think carefully about who you bring into the room. Do not bring your best friend who already agrees with you – bring a peacemaker.

In the New Testament, when the disciples were understandably terrified of the newly-converted Saul, it was Barnabas, the “Son of Encouragement” who stepped in to mediate and vouch for him (Acts 9:27). A good witness acts like Barnabas: calming the atmosphere, listening to both sides, and helping to find the common ground that you might be too emotionally invested to see.

3. The wider counsel

Only after these private and supported attempts have failed do you involve the wider community or leadership. The ultimate goal is always to protect unity at all costs. Unity is the specific environment where God commands His blessing, as we see in Psalm 133.

We see a brilliant example of this in Acts 15.

A massive theological disagreement was brewing that threatened to split the early church right down the middle. Instead of letting it fester in local gossip, Paul and Barnabas took it directly to the elders and apostles in Jerusalem.

They debated it openly, sought the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and issued a clear, unifying decision. When an issue threatens the whole body, mature leadership must step in to establish boundaries and heal the breach.

4. Spotting the smooth talker

The Apostle Paul was ruthless about protecting unity within the early church. He warned the Romans to watch out for those who cause divisions by using smooth talk and flattery to deceive naïve people (Romans 16:17-18). In organisational leadership, you must be highly alert to the person who uses confidentiality as a weapon to spread backbiting.

If you want a classic biblical example of this, look at David’s son, Absalom. He stood at the city gates, intercepted people who were bringing their problems to the king, and sympathetically whispered,

“Your claims are valid, but unfortunately, there is no representative of the king to hear you” (2 Samuel 15:3).

He used empathy as a weapon to steal the hearts of the people. In your team, watch out for the person who says, “I’m only telling you this because I care about you, but…”

That is Absalom’s spirit, and it must be shut down immediately. Paul’s advice to Titus was blunt for a reason: warn a divisive person twice, then have nothing to do with them (Titus 3:10).

5. Carry the burden

Jesus said the world would recognise His disciples by their love for one another (John 13:35). This is not a soft, passive emotion, but rather a heavy-lifting, carrying kind of love. Galatians 6:2 commands us to carry each other’s burdens to fulfil the law of Christ.

Consider the picture of Aaron and Hur in Exodus 17. When Moses became exhausted during the battle against the Amalekites, his arms dropped, and the Israelites started losing. Aaron and Hur didn’t critique his stamina or start a committee to replace him. They found him a stone to sit on and physically held up his arms until sunset.

Carrying a burden is not sending thoughts and prayers from a safe distance. It means showing up at the hospital, helping someone move house, defending a colleague’s reputation when they are not in the room, or getting underneath a tired leader to lift up their arms.

The Power of Alignment

Our external witness

Division achieves a double win in the enemy’s playbook. It splits the army, limiting the damage we can do to his kingdom, and it deters seekers from joining us.

Why would anyone want to join a family that fights more fiercely than the world does?

The late author Brennan Manning captured this tragic reality perfectly when he wrote,

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

Brennan Manning

When we allow division, backbiting, and unforgiveness to characterise our leadership teams and churches, we are doing exactly what Manning described.

We might preach a gospel of radical love, grace, and reconciliation, but we completely deny its power when we refuse to speak to the colleague across the office, or when we split a community over a bruised ego.

The world is watching how we handle conflict. If our relational fractures look exactly like the fractures in the secular culture around us, or worse, we completely strip our message of its credibility. Unchecked division doesn’t just hurt us internally; it actively sabotages our external witness.

The Tangible Results of Unity

However, the reverse of this is powerful. When we are truly united in purpose and love, the measurable impact is staggering.

In Acts 4:24-31, facing severe threats and persecution, the believers didn’t scatter or bicker about strategy. Instead,

“they raised their voices together in prayer to God.”

Their unity was so profound, their singular focus so aligned, that the text says

“the place where they were meeting was shaken.”

That’s earth-shaking unity!

A group of believers, entirely aligned with God and each other, becomes an unstoppable, foundational force.

This principle of unity isn’t just a spiritual ideal. It translates directly into the world of business and organisation. Consider a company like Southwest Airlines, long famous for its relentless focus on employee culture and team unity. Their co-founder, Herb Kelleher, believed that if you treat your employees well and foster a fiercely loyal, united team, they will naturally treat the customers well.

Even during catastrophic industry downturns, like the aftermath of 9/11 or the 2008 financial crisis, when other airlines were fracturing, striking, and laying off thousands, Southwest’s unity allowed them to remain profitable and avoid furloughs. Their internal unity wasn’t just a nice “perk.” It was their primary competitive advantage and the bedrock of their measurable success.

Unity without proximity

It is vital to understand, however, that true unity does not require geographical togetherness. You can be physically apart but entirely aligned in purpose.

Both before we were married and recently, Andrea and I have had times when we were geographically separated for extended periods of time. But through phone calls and a common goal we were no less separated in our love for one another.

Back in the book of Acts, when severe persecution broke out in Jerusalem (Acts 8:1-4), the believers were abruptly scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Yet, because they were deeply unified in vision, mission, and heart, this forced dispersion didn’t destroy the church; it multiplied it! They carried the gospel wherever they went because they were fundamentally anchored to one God, one Lord, one Spirit and one overriding commission. Even while fleeing for their lives, they remained tethered to the absolute bedrock of our mission: to love God, love people, and make disciples.

We witnessed a modern parallel of this during the COVID-19 pandemic. Practically overnight, churches, charities, and businesses were forced into physical isolation. Yet, the most resilient communities proved that you do not need to share a post code to share a heartbeat.

We saw exemplar practice among dispersed groups who, despite meeting strictly on Zoom screens, managed to have a profound, unified community impact.

They organised coordinated food bank deliveries, established neighbourhood care rotas to check on the vulnerable, and interceded for their cities from their respective living rooms. The buildings were closed, but the unified body was fully deployed.

When a church, a family, or a business team commits to doing the hard, messy work of staying united, whether standing shoulder-to-shoulder or logging in from different time zones, we become a city on a hill that cannot be hidden, an unstoppable force for good in our cities and workplaces.

Your Takeaway

Take a moment to honestly audit your own personal practice, leadership style and your team’s or family dynamics.

1. Are you settling for the quiet danger of false harmony, or are you willing to step into the mess as a genuine peacemaker?
2. When faced with friction, are you functioning as a wedge-driver, or are you stepping up as a burden-carrier?

Don’t just listen to the loud complaints. Pay attention to the silence.

Let’s consciously choose to be people who refuse to let the acorn of division shift the ground beneath our feet, and instead commit to the hard, world-changing work of true alignment.

Drop an answer in the comments below: what is one step you can take this week to invite healthy friction or build genuine unity in your sphere of influence?

Next week, we conclude this series with the final “D”: Defilement. We will explore how the enemy attempts to make the holy feel common.

---